Now THAT is writing.

April 14th, 2011

While watching re-runs of “Saved By the Bell” this morning, I noticed two mind-blowing tidbits of writing.

  1. In the episode “Cream for a Day”, Kelly is crowned Homecoming Queen despite her beet red face, which was caused by Zack’s hair-brained acne cream scheme. The second runner-up for Homecoming Queen’s name: Muffin Sangria.
  2. In the episode “The Mamas and the Papas”, Screech and Lisa are paired up as one of the mock-married couples. What is appropriate yet mind-bending is that they are referred to as the “Turtle-Powers” couple.

You can’t learn that gift of pure writing ingenuity. You are born with it.

Honey, the Omaha Steaks are here.

March 9th, 2011


I’ll have to thank Goldie for the recommendation. How did she know that we prefer delivered packages to be left on the back porch, though?

It’s just so perfect.

January 20th, 2011

I’ve decided that my favorite word in the English language is “sandwiches.”

If I need to explain why this word is so great, you’ll probably never understand, but I’m willing to try. Only because “sandwiches” deserves it.

Topical!

November 24th, 2010

Dave: I always get “lad” and “lass” confused
Rob: You’re a regular Eddie Murphy

Rated “T” for TGIF.

November 10th, 2010

I’m thinking about picking up a copy of “Carl of Duty: Black Cops”.

Carl Winslowned.

He’s made of magic.

October 23rd, 2010

“I lifted up Omar’s* leg, and a coin from the Bahamas popped out.”

- Sarah B.

* Omar is her dog, you weirdos.

Instant Awesome: Chewables

October 15th, 2010

If at all possible, avoid using toilets that face a mirror. There are few things as depressing as seeing yourself take a dump.

Is That a Regulation Uniform Cap?

August 5th, 2010

Q: What position does Josh Beckett play?
A: Home Run.

Q: What is a “Pinch Hitter”?
A: The 4th inning.

God bless the “Toucher and Rich” morning show on the local sports station (98.5: The Sports Hub). Their “Pink Hat Trivia Challenge” made my morning. They wait outside Fenway and ask a “fan” in a pink Red Sox hat questions about baseball. The two answers above were my favorites this morning.

Of course, she knew that the song played during the middle of the 8th inning every game is “Sweet Caroline”.

Instant Awesome: Chewables

July 20th, 2010

Do flies know about spider webs before it’s too late?

Instant Awesome: Chewables

July 2nd, 2010

If anyone ever tries to make fun of you for having baby wipes/bathroom wipes in your bathroom, just remind yourself of one thing:

Your ass is cleaner than theirs.